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'I'm a birth expert – these are the 5 chats to have with your partner before baby arrives'

Emma Armstrong, The Naked Doula and birth expert, shares her helpful tips

Man kissing the belly of his pregnant woman
Sophie Hamilton
Parenting Editor
On 16 February 2024
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Preparing to welcome your baby into the world is an exciting time for couples, but it can also be an anxious time too. You may be worrying if everything will go ok and if your partner will be supportive.

Communicating your wants and needs as the birth approaches is so important to help you feel relaxed and prepared, after all, how will they know our wishes if we don't tell them?

Emma Armstrong, The Naked Doula and birth expert at The Baby Show has shared her advice on the subject with HELLO! and revealed the five must-have chats to have with your partner before the big day arrives.

Birth expert and The Naked Doula Emma Armstrong
Birth expert and The Naked Doula Emma Armstrong

Emma told us: "As the big day inches closer, those heart-to-heart chats with your partner become more than just pillow talk. They're the secret ingredient to transforming your birth experience from, 'Okay, this is happening' to, 'We've got this!'

"These conversations aren't just prep talk - they're the foundation of your journey into parenthood. Together, with love, laughter, and understanding, you're not just preparing for birth, you're strengthening your partnership for the incredible journey ahead.

Below, Emma reveals the five essential conversations to have with your partner…

1. Be the guardian of oxytocin

Oxytocin, the 'love hormone', is not just for those mushy movie scenes or sex but plays a major role in childbirth.

It’s what drives your contractions and the more oxytocin the more endorphins (natural pain relief). It's time to nudge your partner into becoming the guardian of oxytocin.

How? It's simple. He or she can dim the lights, play your favourite music, and know what to say during labour that will keep you centred. Their mission: to create a stress-free haven where you can feel safe and comfortable!

Pregnant woman practicing Yoga© Getty
Pregnant woman practicing Yoga

2. Ace advocacy

In the birth room or home, if homebirth is your go-to, your needs and wishes should never get drowned out. This is where your partner steps in as your advocate.

They should know your birth plan inside out - the do's, the don'ts, and everything in between. Their role is to be your calm yet assertive spokesperson, ensuring your voice is heard when it matters most.

3. Champion of chill

Let's talk about those final weeks before your little one decides it's showtime.

It's a whirlwind of emotions, last-minute preparations, and a phone buzzing non-stop with messages from everyone you know.

It's your partner's time to shine as the Chief Fun Officer. Whether it's a surprise date, a comedy binge-watch, or just quiet walks, they’re there to keep things fun and carefree. Think of it as the ultimate pre-baby bash!

A pregnant woman looking at baby stuff
Preparing for baby's arrival

4. Sacred postpartum bonding

The moment your baby arrives, it's like time stands still. These first few hours and days are precious for bonding with your new little family. Your partner's role is vital here.

They can help maintain a peaceful environment, limit visitors, and ensure you have everything you need. This time is all about soaking in the newness of life, together, one cuddle at a time.

5. Masters of communication

Navigating postpartum life is no small feat, and clear, empathetic communication is key. Your partner's listening skills and understanding are more important than ever.

Whether it's discussing daily routines, emotional support, or just being there when you're running on empty, their role in creating and maintaining a supportive environment is crucial for a smooth transition into this new chapter.

You can hear more from Emma aka The Naked Doula at The Baby Show taking place 1-3 March at London Excel. 

The UK's Leading Baby & Parenting Shows in London ExCel, London Olympia, Birmingham NEC and Manchester Central. Everything for Bump, Baby & You Under One Roof.

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