As women, we go through many different eras with our friends. From being attached at the hip in our teenage years and twenties, to growing apart in our thirties and forties when family and career take priority, to gravitating back together when we have more time in later life.
During menopause, our friends become crucial again, with a survey by Essity showing that 71% of women talk to their female friends about their experiences.
And thank goodness, because we need people to discuss symptoms with, compare coping mechanisms and share the experience. "It's so important and therapeutic to be able to share your fears and your tears," says 56-year-old Sharon Clapp, who sadly went through menopause alone in her early forties.
"When I went through menopause 14 years ago, it was still un-talked about," Sharon says. "It was referred to ‘as going through the change’ and because of the shame surrounding it, nobody spoke about it. I went through it early, triggered by a hysterectomy and there was nowhere for me to turn, so I suffered in silence."
Sharon's unhappy experience fuelled her desire to stop other women going through the same thing as her, prompting her to qualify as a Menopause Wellness Practitioner, setting up The Menopause Wellness Centre.
"I host workshops, and over a glass of fizz we share our experiences, which is both cathartic and fun," Sharon says. "It's helped me find a second wave of sisterhood and knowing that I am helping others is so empowering."
Female friends in menopause
"It is so important to have female friends who we can talk to about menopause," implores Sharon. "Every single person’s journey is different, but sharing experiences creates a bond. I’m also part of the online menopause community, Issviva and there are social media groups out there as well, so you don’t have to go through it alone."
Sharon isn't alone in her belief of the importance of friendship, with Essity's research showing that a quarter of women surveyed said the best thing about menopause is getting a second wave of sisterhood. 14 % even said that they have made more friends by sharing their experiences of the life stage than they could ever have imagined.
© GettyCelebrity personal trainer Monique Eastwood, who works with Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway, highlights the importance of female friendships at this life stage, too.
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"In menopause we're blessed with very strong female friends because we know ourselves by our mid-fifties. You need the girlfriends who are very strong with their opinions. Some girlfriends are going through the same thing, so it's good to compare notes," she says.
Sharon adds: "During menopause, we have the capacity to make time for our friends again, it's a freeing time. We have no more worries about pregnancy or periods, it’s our time. Time for self-care and to look after ourselves.
"My whole ethos is that wellbeing comes in many forms; exercise, looking after your diet, mindfulness and enjoying a night out with friends, a giggle in front of the telly, meeting up for a walk and a chat, or a coffee. That’s all part of self-care – remembering to enjoy life again."
Visit HELLO!'s Second Act hub for inspiring stories of women living their best midlife.
